I have already talked about the bad that has come from bullying. Please don't think that all criticism is bad and considered bullying though. There is both good and bad bullying. Bullying can be hurtful just for the soul purpose to hurt you or can hurt but in a way that will make you stronger as a person. Bullying is a touchy subject that is almost always thought of as a bad thing. People automatically think of the stereotypical high school bully beating kids up and taking their lunch money. Although this kind of violent behavior and bullying should be given attention it is important that we realize some of it is important to go through to develop. Teachers and parents do this a lot along with sports coaches. They yell at the kids for doing things in a manner they do not like, for dressing incorrectly, and for making mistakes. This does vary in intensity and manner, but all of it is for the better. The kids may get upset, cry if young and maybe even have second thoughts about participating in whatever it is, but when they stick it out and get back into it they have new knowledge of how to reach the expectations they are given. It isn't just the adults either. Kids give each other hard criticism as well, sometimes more harsh than an adult ever would. They can have more impact due to being from peers. This criticism is more important sometimes to kids for developing skills and expectations for society in their life. The truth they tell each other is hurtful but should not be taken personally. Use it to adapt to society or what ever it is you are participating in so that is can help you become better. Bullying should not be taken lightly. It can be very mean and even meant to hurt you. Verbal and especially physical can sometimes do nothing but make things worse. Do not however thing all hurtful words are a negative thing. People will be truthful and it can hurt, but use it to fuel your strive for success. You can learn valuable lessons from positive bullying. Next time someone gives you a harsh criticism think about it long and hard. Think about if they truly were trying to hurt you or if you can use it in a way to help yourself improve. As always, thank you for reading. (:

More about what I think

Just recently I was "bullied" in a way. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a mean message to me and the person blocked me so I couldn't see who it was. This really bugged me. Not just because what they said but because they wouldn't show me who they were. Like I said before I used to be bullied and this person, who ever they were, said things what people used to say to me. They just plain called me ugly and that was enough to make me think, wow, this used to hurt me so bad. I'm not sure if many of you know me but just today I did my Where I come From poem. I wrote my poem about how I used to deal with the pain of other peoples words. That person is no longer me and I have changed so much but what if I had not changed at all? Did this person even think about what they were sending to me before they sent it? I am guessing they didn't. Everyone has a story to tell and you never know what that story is. If you just watch what you say and think about it a little you just might make someone feel better. After this random person messaged me people were trying to make me feel better. That also has a big role in it. If you have someone to help you through with the feelings you feel then it is so much better. Just remember not everyone has that like you do.

You may not know me but I may act like nothing bugs me but deep down inside words still hurt me, not it the same way but they still do. To this day I still get called fat, weird, and ugly, but i never let that get to me the same way. Yes it makes me sad but that is their opinion of me and I could care less what they think about me.

I am sure that many of you are wanting to know why I am so big on bullying. I'm not sure if many of you know but when I was younger I was bullied a lot in elementary school and in middle school. It felt so terrible. I didn't have anyone there when I was going through all of this. My family never noticed and I had to little friends to care. I never spoke out agents this group of people that would just hurt me everyday. I literally got called every name in the book. I got called fat, ugly, a large profound vocabulary these three girls had towards me. I cried every single night and no one ever asked me what was wrong. This was all seventh grade year. That following year the bullying had stopped for a short period of time because over the summer I made a few friends over the summer and I got a boyfriend and for awhile I thought I was happy. Months later, my thoughts were completely wrong. I lost a bunch of my friends because of the guy I was dating and that guy left me, so I was all alone. High School came around and I join a group called NJROTC. I made friends with people I have never even met before and some upper class men too. My social life got so much better. I did things on the weekend and people called me by my real name, not same harsh words some kids used to say to me. I really thought things were perfect this time. In December, i was so wrong. Some guy told his girlfriend I was trying to "hook up" with them. This girl was my best friend, I lost everything. Her and her friend pushed me up into walls and called me slut in the hallway. They told people lies about things I have done and just like before, no one helped me. My family noticed something was wrong and when my parents asked me all i could do was cry. So we moved out of my school district. This new school was so much worse. People called me freak because I didn't like what all of them liked, I didn't want to go to there football games and I didn't want to wear school colors. I mean why should I? They were all mean to me. I moved back hoping things would be better for me. To my surprise they were. The people that bullied me were gone and the real friends I had were there backing me up and I really was happy this time. After all of this happened I never wanted anyone to feel what I felt. I came from having no friends to being this happy person with a lot of people behind her. I hate seeing when people do evil things to others. So I want to help stop these things :)

I really hope we all agree that bullying is of course wrong, but do you know when you are being the bully? Well I would love to help!

1) If you say something you wouldn't say to them, you are being the bully.
    Ok no one can say they have never done it we all know we have. Just because someone can't hear it from you, they will hear it from someone else it still makes you a bully.

2) If it makes them upset, you are being a bully.
    Yes, we may do it on accident but that is a different story. If you do it "just cause" you are being a bully. There is a big difference between telling someone the dress they are wearing isn't cute, then saying they look like a fat cow in it. If you try to be nice you are alright, you are just being honest.

3) Don't always jump to conclusions.
    Not everyone has it all. You may be happy about having your friends and your awesome boyfriend or girlfriend and mad at your parents because they don't want you to go to some party on Saturday night. Think before you make fun of someone or say something to someone, you don't know what that persons life is like. Maybe that person doesn't have friends because they just don't know how to talk to people, maybe they don't even have parents. Please, think about other people before you say something, not everyone has an awesome life all the time. Maybe one day you can take the time out of your day to help someone feel better by telling then they look nice today or invite them to eat lunch with you. You never know maybe someday you may save someone's life by doing so. :)

I am wanting to start a video about bullying and upload it to my blog but I need two people that would be willing to share the story and have their voices heard if you would like to help me out email me and if any teachers out there would like to help either put my video together or help me with the Q&A I want to have in it then feel free to email me also. Thank you all for reading.

my email- deanna.wilbur14@gmail.com