Go bully, you big bully.

This week, I want to talk about the bullying that happens the most. This type of bullying isn't what a lot of people think is bullying but it is. People bully themselves all the time. It's sad really, but everyone does it. No matter who you are you have bullied your self several times. I even bully myself, and i do it almost everyday. Just like today, I was buying a dress for this show I am going to and everything I tried on i thought looked bad, I thought I looked fat in. I hated it. Despite what people told me all I saw was what I hated about my body. I told my myself I was ugly and fat and I could work put more, and I don't need to eat for a few days. I wouldn't say this is a way to bully or be bullied if it wasn't for eating disorders and other forms of self harm. Did you know that more females have self harm problems then males? I bet you also didn't know that a girls self esteem is harmed by guys majority of the time. I am not saying that guys never have those issues, they do, but stuff like anorexia and cutting happens more often than it does in males. If you always beet your self up about little things and you never see anything good about your self, you should talk to someone. I have had a lot of experience with this self bullying. When I was 13 years old my dad told me I was getting fat after I went through a lot of issues with my grandfather and moving schools, I started eating more and more to help cope with my feelings about everything. After he said that to me, it ran through my head for weeks, months, almost a year. I stopped eating everyday because of what my dad said and I only ate three times a week. I noticed I started losing weight so I went back to eating normally. Then school came back around. I really liked this guy and I always tried to talk to him and when I finally got a chance to, I tried flirting with him and he told me he "wasn't into fat girls." I really didn't thing I was all that bad, but once again, I didn't want to eat. I only ate once a week and I was always tired and got so sick. I slipped into this numbness that my brain couldn't escape. I didn't know what to do. I went from 145 pounds to only 99 in a little under three months. I was happy. I thought I looked great until one day I saw my little brother (he lives with his day 1000 miles away from me so I see him four times a year) he told me he was afraid of me because I didn't look like a person. To be honest, I really didn't. Now I'm so glad my little brother said that to me. People call me fat now but all I do its pick up some more chocolate and eat it right in their faces. I am happy to say that I have overcome my fears of what I thought so hard about myself, and I am happy to sit here and tell you that I am 5'2" and I weigh 125 pounds, and I could care less what anyone thinks, even myself.